The Basics of Counseling A vast majority of human beings are well prepared physically and psychologically to cope with many negative physical and psychological events that take place during one's lifetime. Families and friends too help us absorb many such negative events making painless transitions. Deaths, destruction due to natural disasters, accidents, injuries, loss of loved ones, loss of property, are some of the natural negative events that exerts enormous pressure on our lives. In addition there are endless traumas created by man himself. These are milder forms of violence, sexual violence and armed robbery. There are milder forms of violence that goes unnoticed nevertheless are equally important such as sexual discrimination, sexual abuse, abusive language, intolerance and negligence. All these events whether natural or manmade results in disruption of normal life. Some are able to cope with it while others, not. A long process of healing is required to bring back normality in the lives of people who have been exposed to such negative life events. One of the healing techniques is called counseling. What is counseling? Counseling can be defined as a therapeutic procedure in which a counselor adopts a supportive non-judgmental role of enabling a client to deal more effectively with psychological or emotional problems and gives advice on practical solutions. Who is a counselor? A counselor is an individual who understands the feeling of a client and treats it as facts, keeps all information in confidence; facilitates discussions on the issue; builds self-esteem of the client; reassures if the client is insecure; solicit client's own feelings and ideas for solution; be empathetic to the client and shows care; has patience; not get distracted during interaction with client; builds confidence showing ability; allows vent to express dissatisfaction or concern by the client regarding the problem; considers client's immediate and long term goal; avoid acting like an expert; and finally have a big ear and small mouth. When is a counselor is not ready to counsel? A counselor when he/she lacks motivation and creativity; has prejudice against the client; has preconceived notions about the issue faced by a client; feels social distance between self and client; feels insecure and lacks self confidence; be impulsive in distinguish personal and professional stakes of the client. Who needs counseling? A person who is always irritated, angry, is distrustful of people, always suspicious, lacks self confidence, always in doubt, in apathy about life, always shows anxiety about the future, resents life and family, remains isolated, lacks willingness to take any initiative and shows territorial behaviors. Ten steps to counseling * Encourage the client to talk about the feeling by using listening * Validate the feeling with reflective listening * Let the client pour out all the grief * Provide missing information about the situation * Talk about the client's view of goals and vision * Communicate what it takes to get there * Observe signs of trouble and prepare for possible violence and threats * Encourage client to develop positive energy towards devising solution * Establish regular schedule for follow-up discussion and give feedback * Agree on what steps to take to change the situation The main aim of the counselor is to make the client feel that he/she is able to solve his/her problems on his/her own.